


Miscounted

by Shadowy_Dumbo_Octopus



Category: Bartimaeus - Jonathan Stroud
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Other, Well they're alive now and that's what counts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 11:19:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15047720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowy_Dumbo_Octopus/pseuds/Shadowy_Dumbo_Octopus
Summary: The objective of Kitty's and Nathaniel's little brush with death was to bring back one soul from the green pastures. The issue, however, is that the spell might have worked just a little too well.Sequel to "Three's A Company." Tags will be added as I go along to avoid spoilers.





	1. Chapter 1

Azari of Alexandria looked up from her book (a distressingly bad Russian translation of _“The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath”_ by H.P. Lovecraft) as an overwhelming wave of force suddenly swept through the thirteenth plane, almost pushing her off the plush armchair she was curled up in.

“Goodness,” she gasped upon managing to regain control over herself, bending down to pick up the book she accidentally dropped, “now what could that have caused such a commotion?”

The answer came to her as soon as she finished the sentence; such waves could only be created by a soul being ripped out of the In-Between, according to _“Το νεκρό βιβλίο”_ or _“The Dead Book”_ , author unknown, chapter twenty seven, page five hundred sixty three, paragraph four, situated on the ground level two, corridor forty three, door seventy seven, shelf five, twelfth from the left, last borrowed on the thirtieth of March, two forty two in the morning, by Bartimaeus, a djinni working for John Mandrake in London, England.

After recalling the information, Azari quickly wrote it down in the notepad sitting on the table next to her armchair before calmly resuming lecture; it would be good to pay Mr Mandrake a visit as soon as she finished reading, as her curiosity was rising by the second. Why did he carry out the ritual? What soul, or souls, did he summon? Should she make use of the loophole in her charge to abandon her post as a librarian to travel all the way to England?

So many questions, she thought as a pleasant shiver ran up her spine; few things in the world were better than a good mystery, especially one she could investigate personally rather than simply read about it.

London it was, then… as soon as she finished _“The Dream Quest.”_


	2. Of explanations and mac 'n' cheese

“So…”

Nathaniel looked up from his sketchbook at the desert cat curled up comfortably on the table right in front of him.

“So what?” He asked, a little impatiently. His drawing time has been greatly reduced lately so he cherished every free moment he had, especially when he was in The Zone. “I’m a little busy, Bartimaeus.”

The cat peeked into the book. “You haven’t drawn anything.” It remarked.

“Because you’re bothering me.”

“You’ve been sitting here for the past thirty minutes.”

“Your point being?”

“Why Ptolemy?”

It took Nathaniel a few moments to realise where the question came from. He stopped clutching his sketchbook possessively with an offended frown and glanced in the direction of the counter, where said prince was in the process of meticulously taking apart and rebuilding their microwave for the third time that week. To his credit, though, he got the “mute” button to finally work so Kitty no longer had to race through the kitchen at three in the morning to avoid waking the whole house with her mac ‘n’ cheese.

If he had to be honest, the last time that happened Nathaniel was more hurt that she wouldn’t share than offended that she woke him up.

“Well,” he set down his pencil with a sigh, “as you know, Kitty and I have been studying his works recently in an effort to make the whole spirit slavery shebang a bit less shitty. The issue is that most copies of his works are either ridiculously hard to get or have been burned or lost. We figured that asking him more directly would be easier.”

“Traveling to the In-Between? Easier? Please.” The cat lowered its head onto its paws, golden eyes drilling into his. “That can’t be the only reason.”

“He dared me into doing this,” Kitty called out from where she was angrily icing the newest batch of blueberry muffins. “Now I have to bake for him until the end of the year because he didn’t get us all killed.”

Nathaniel smiled sweetly at her but stopped when she raised her spatula threateningly. He cleared his throat. “Um, yeah, it was either Kitty baking me muffins or me giving her backrubs, and her muffins really are magnif-“

“Stop lying before I test my claws on that pretty little sketchbook of yours. Why did you _really_ choose him?”

That gave him a pause (long enough to place the sketchbook on top of the fridge, away from cat claws.)

Eventually, he sighed wearily.

“The research is part of the reason.” He began. “We… We know how much he means to you and... well, we figured that, if it worked out, it could make you, you know, happy.” He tripped and stumbled over the words, not quite sure how to say what he wanted to say. It would be so much better if Bartimaeus could just get into his head again and see for himself. “Yeah, I partially did it just to check if we could-“

“Just to see if you could.” Bartimaeus repeated, deadpan.

“-But mainly it was for you.” Nathaniel suddenly found his sleeve very fascinating and dedicated his full attention to fiddling with the loose thread by the seam. “Yeah. You, research, dare, to see if we could. In that order.”

The cat was oddly quiet for quite a few moments, during which Ptolemy managed to put their microwave back together, unaware of the topic of their conversation (his English, although getting better with each day, was still far from fluent) and Kitty finished icing the muffins and was regarding them with her arms folded.

“He’s right, you know,” she said, “we chose him mostly for your sake.”

Nathaniel looked up hesitantly to see that the cat has shifted into a tall, lithe Sumerian warrior, sitting on the edge of the table with a smile on his lips; a smile which made him die a little inside.

He’s never seen Bartimaeus this happy. Genuinely, purely happy.

“Thank you.” He said sincerely, and suddenly all the hardships of the ritual, the lengths they took to get hold of the ingredients, and the soul-searing struggle with Ptolemy’s soul, were all so, so worth it.

Nathaniel opened his mouth, trying to think of something to say, but was interrupted by Kitty shoving a still-pleasantly-warm muffin into his mouth.

“You’re welcome.” She said to Bartimaeus, handing him a muffin with a crude cat face drawn on with icing. “Now get off the table.”

The Sumerian grinned, hopping off with a cheerful salute. “Yes, ma’am!”

That evening they all had microwaved mac ‘n’ cheese, eating it straight from the bowl* while watching some documentary and listening to Bartimaeus correct and make fun of pretty much every second of it.

(*which used to be too large to fit into the microwave before, but it seemed that Ptolemy found a way to bend the laws of physics during his fiddling. Not that any of them complained.)

Sometimes, Nathaniel thought as he reached over Kitty to scoop up a spoonful, the world could actually be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Towards the end I realised that this was partially inspired by this: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10931490 which is a gift from a wonderful friend of mine and their take on Nathaniel's reasons behind summoning Ptolemy. Eru my man, I have officially managed to out-cheese you in this.
> 
> Also hey, see the collection this is in? Miscountedverse? Yeah, it's a place for works related to this dumb AU so feel free to pop your fic in there. To others who also want to play in my sandbox, feel free to write and add your fics here. I'm planning to make this AU open for everyone to enjoy and contribute to :3
> 
> Don't wanna write your own thing but got an idea? I'm shadowy-dumbo-octopus on tumblr so feel free to shoot me an ask or message and I'll see what I can do.


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